Trippin
Last night shift, goodie! And bugger all work to boot, yay! AND my usually tight ass supervisor, 4hours into the night, told everyone to wash down the cars then go get some sleep,W00t!!! Don't get much better does it. Nope sure doesn't, things can only get worse. Such is the balance of nature...
Was asked head down the terminal at around 6am. As an engineer was urgently required to dispatch an aircraft. So got in the van and drove down. Part way there, as I rounded a corner I saw the airport security car. Who promptly began to flash me. So I slow down and pull along side him. Guy glared at me with the kind of face that visually spelt out "I am an Arsehole, slap me".
"Show me your pass!", he growled
Compliantly I handed it over.
"How fast were you driving?"
"I dunno"
"Do you know the speed limit for driving around the airport?"
"Yes, 20kmph", which is ridiculous! Even bloody roads infront of primary schools back home are 35kmph.
"This is not your private race track! You are not speeding around on your motorcycle! (cos all whitemen own fast bikes...)There is a speed limit here. How fast do you think you were going?"
"I really dunno."
"You must have some idea. So how fast do u say you were?"
"I-Don't-Know", getting somewhat tired of the repetition now
"Weren't you looking at your speed-o?"
"Errrr, no... I was looking out the windscreen ahead of me", he just wants me to state my speed because he has no speed gun to nail down my speed. So 2nd best is a verbal admission by the accused.
"And your security pass is out of date! 7mths out of date!"
"It is!?!?" with that he held my pass up to my face.
"Oh! I never realised it. I've always managed to get into the airport everyday without fail, never knew it was expired"
"Why did you not get a new one?"
"Cos I never knew it was out of date so I never asked for a new one, more to the point its HR's responsibility to handle pass renewal, not mine, and besides is it not your colleagues at the gates to check my pass every time I enter the airfield?" begrudgingly he conceded my point, but continued in that "I-deserve-a-slap" kind of way.
"Well I'm confiscating your pass"
"Ok"
It was then I noticed he had confiscated my pass with my neck sling that I had received as a souvenir from Zurich. So I asked him if he could just take the pass but return my sling. He looked at me quizzically. So I repeated myself. Putting on his sternest face to mask his cluelessness, like a virgin going at a bra strap, he tried to remove the pass from the sling's card holder. And like aforementioned virgin, he was unable. Getting a lil frustrated at his incessant fumbling and failure to heed any of my instructions to free the card, I tried to show him how to free the card. But as I reached for it. With his opposite hand he snatched it away and held it arm outstretched, as far away as he could from me. Simultaneously puffing his chest out and budging his eyes wide open at me. It was scene mirroring one of those times at school when a bully would steal some kids comic, then as that kid tried to retrieve it he would hold the kid off with one arm while holding the comic away from the kids grasp with the other.
"Look, mate. I just want to get my neck strap back. You can keep the bloody pass, its no good to me is it... its out of date." With that he relaxed and gingerly handed it over. FFS like I was gonna snatch it off him and run 1.5km to the nearest exit gate. Child... He now commanded me to follow his colleague, who had driven over to see what the fuss was about, back to the security office. Again he reminded me of the speed limit and not to dare to go over it for fear of a 2nd lecture. Rather tired by all this bullshit I sheepishly said ok, as he drove off. As I slowly pulled behind his mate, matey zoomed off in a cloud of dust!!! I glared down at my speed-o and I was bang on 20. But still his mate was rapidly dwindling dot in the distance. Frantically I looked round for Arseface to point out what his mate was doing, but of cause Arseface had gone...
When I arrived at the office the security manager followed thru the motions of booking me. Thou due to his poor English he gave me quite the scare. HE said to me,
"Because your pass is out of date. You are illegally on this airfield. So I will have to take away your pass. And you will never be allowed to work on this airport any more!"
WTF!!!!! I was a lil stunned by it! But after a 5 sec pause he added,"Till you are get a new pass"
At that point another security guy escorted in 2 more white faces. Immediately the supervisor's face dropped, knowing the day ahead which he would face with Arseface on duty.
Was asked head down the terminal at around 6am. As an engineer was urgently required to dispatch an aircraft. So got in the van and drove down. Part way there, as I rounded a corner I saw the airport security car. Who promptly began to flash me. So I slow down and pull along side him. Guy glared at me with the kind of face that visually spelt out "I am an Arsehole, slap me".
"Show me your pass!", he growled
Compliantly I handed it over.
"How fast were you driving?"
"I dunno"
"Do you know the speed limit for driving around the airport?"
"Yes, 20kmph", which is ridiculous! Even bloody roads infront of primary schools back home are 35kmph.
"This is not your private race track! You are not speeding around on your motorcycle! (cos all whitemen own fast bikes...)There is a speed limit here. How fast do you think you were going?"
"I really dunno."
"You must have some idea. So how fast do u say you were?"
"I-Don't-Know", getting somewhat tired of the repetition now
"Weren't you looking at your speed-o?"
"Errrr, no... I was looking out the windscreen ahead of me", he just wants me to state my speed because he has no speed gun to nail down my speed. So 2nd best is a verbal admission by the accused.
"And your security pass is out of date! 7mths out of date!"
"It is!?!?" with that he held my pass up to my face.
"Oh! I never realised it. I've always managed to get into the airport everyday without fail, never knew it was expired"
"Why did you not get a new one?"
"Cos I never knew it was out of date so I never asked for a new one, more to the point its HR's responsibility to handle pass renewal, not mine, and besides is it not your colleagues at the gates to check my pass every time I enter the airfield?" begrudgingly he conceded my point, but continued in that "I-deserve-a-slap" kind of way.
"Well I'm confiscating your pass"
"Ok"
It was then I noticed he had confiscated my pass with my neck sling that I had received as a souvenir from Zurich. So I asked him if he could just take the pass but return my sling. He looked at me quizzically. So I repeated myself. Putting on his sternest face to mask his cluelessness, like a virgin going at a bra strap, he tried to remove the pass from the sling's card holder. And like aforementioned virgin, he was unable. Getting a lil frustrated at his incessant fumbling and failure to heed any of my instructions to free the card, I tried to show him how to free the card. But as I reached for it. With his opposite hand he snatched it away and held it arm outstretched, as far away as he could from me. Simultaneously puffing his chest out and budging his eyes wide open at me. It was scene mirroring one of those times at school when a bully would steal some kids comic, then as that kid tried to retrieve it he would hold the kid off with one arm while holding the comic away from the kids grasp with the other.
"Look, mate. I just want to get my neck strap back. You can keep the bloody pass, its no good to me is it... its out of date." With that he relaxed and gingerly handed it over. FFS like I was gonna snatch it off him and run 1.5km to the nearest exit gate. Child... He now commanded me to follow his colleague, who had driven over to see what the fuss was about, back to the security office. Again he reminded me of the speed limit and not to dare to go over it for fear of a 2nd lecture. Rather tired by all this bullshit I sheepishly said ok, as he drove off. As I slowly pulled behind his mate, matey zoomed off in a cloud of dust!!! I glared down at my speed-o and I was bang on 20. But still his mate was rapidly dwindling dot in the distance. Frantically I looked round for Arseface to point out what his mate was doing, but of cause Arseface had gone...
When I arrived at the office the security manager followed thru the motions of booking me. Thou due to his poor English he gave me quite the scare. HE said to me,
"Because your pass is out of date. You are illegally on this airfield. So I will have to take away your pass. And you will never be allowed to work on this airport any more!"
WTF!!!!! I was a lil stunned by it! But after a 5 sec pause he added,"Till you are get a new pass"
At that point another security guy escorted in 2 more white faces. Immediately the supervisor's face dropped, knowing the day ahead which he would face with Arseface on duty.
posted by Spectre26 at
11:44
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