Bodies everywhere

Walked into stores one day to ask why a certain item had not been delivered to me after a whole day of waiting. The guy at the desk politely enough punched in the part numbers and zipped thru a load of windows on his PC to find my missing bits. Then his phone goes. Picking it up, he yammers away in the local lingo then has a casual word with his colleague at the table opposite. His colleague turns around to the waist high cupboard behind his desk, opens it up, reaches in and rifles around a bit before turning around. Now I expected a folder or file, maybe a stapler... but no... he pulls out a guy! A full sized 5'6 bloke outta the cupboard. All bleary eyed, complete with bed head and newspaper print on his cheek. Stumbling to the phone the guy carry's on the conversation. And no one in the office bats an eyelid!

Again a few days ago I go into another office dept and being around 8 in the morning it is devoid of people. Now I just think it was empty because of the casual attitude that people here take to turning up to work. But upon closer inspection I noticed guys camouflaged in with the clutter under the desks. I mean proper sniper style camouflaged up. Some had packing foam over them others had on blankets that matched the floor tiling, some even disguised as newspaper stacks...

Hell later that afternoon I got into crew room and it was pitch black. You could not see a thing in the jet blackness. Flick on the lights and it was like a scene out of a bloodless slasher movie. Every available space was littered with bodies. Floor, chairs, tables, etc... All now looking rather annoyed that some berk had turned on the lights.

But those were just lowly minions. Hence the need for camouflage and hiding. In the offices with the higher ups I see guys collapsed at their tables, or heads hanging back in their chairs, mouths wider open, ejecting those Z's loud and clear for all to hear.

More sleeping gets done at work than work itself. Hell I think they sleep more at work than at home. Must be something in the air. Maybe someone is piping sleeping gas into the ventilation system. Lord knows. But it sure explains why the simplest task here like pumping up a tyre can take 5 men the best part of 6 hours to accomplish.